About My Feeling Today

In fact, very rarely do I want to pour out my heart to the crowd. But this time, it seems like I want to tell everyone, through this article. Maybe this article is not good to read, because sorry is really the outpouring of the heart that I’m experiencing at this time. So do not read.

Some days, just in my thoughts to think about him. What he is, does he eat well, does he sleep well. I imagine she was next to me to gently stroke our daughter’s hair. But that’s just a dream. And I do not want that to be true.

When I think about her, the one I always think about, pity. But he is not one of the pitiable. He’s the one who has hurt me a lot, cheated and also carried away the money I saved for Oru, always making myself not to think about him, again!

He who has lied to me and said aloud “I do not love you, much less dear, that’s impossible,” ever come before me begging pity from me. From that moment, I am doing stupidity, try to trust him again and I tried to convince my family that he had hurt so much I could remember to be kind to him, and they could only convince me not to return to him. But again this feeling of compassion arrives. So pity on him.

Why he so mean like that? Why he fool me? Why he lie on me? Why…

That’s feeling always remind me again again again and again. Make me realize every morning that something wrong just happens in my heart. I can be like that. I should release and exhale this feeling. I know he never love me. I know he just want to lying on me for his benefit, but again he is not Oru father, ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oru does not deserve to have a father like him. Oru father already die, pass away, burn in hell!

I hate him! I hate him a lot!

But sometime I miss him a lot, wondering what he been doing through his life? Did he survive for those day?

Again, when I saw his picture, just realize that I am nothing for him, and always be like that. So, hopefully he always being good, happy and safe.

Ivan Ramen Inspired Me To Get A Rid Of My Negative Thinking on Life!

Just saw a short movie about Ivan Ramen at Netflix. What I will said about this movie is, a lot of thanks! Thanks. Thanks. Thanks!

Thanks to Ivan Orkin who already shared his story into Chef Table on Netflix. I just get inspired that life is wonderful and always believe on myself that I will be a great and have wonderful future.

I started to get spark from his storied when he told us the moment when his first wife died and become a single father. Suddenly I got realized that his story similar like me, but unfortunately that I don’t have husband since the day one Oru born.

But, there is always some hope in every step you make on this world. Because life is beautiful so use it well and always thinking positively about it!

I know how hard become a single parent on upside down world. He told me that just working well and believe what do you want to do, even you just only have a little confidence on you.

On Ivan story, he have to struggle for four years until get to know with his new wife who believing him that he will be success in life.

Even Ivan and his second wife have their own family before meet each others, Ivan have Issac and Mari have Alex, but their life super wonderful and become a great family who love each others.

I want that life also. I want to have a great husband someday, who care and love Oru like his own son. I know it could be a hypocritical when the last blog I told to you that I don’t think any new relationship, but after I saw his movie just got inspired and believe that me and Oru also deserve to own great family in future a head. We never know, but I do believe it!

All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them – Walt Disney

Tips For Single Mom: 5 Steps to Effectively Freeze Your Spending

If your spending is getting the best of you, try freezing your spending on wants (as opposed to needs) for the next several months. Freezing your spending isn’t easy, but it can stop your accelerating debt dead in its tracks.

1. Decide How Long to Freeze Your Spending. In order to make this spending freeze effective, decide how long you want to carry out this plan. Freezing your spending for six to twelve months can really make a difference and help you get back on track.
2. Establish What’s Really a Need. Understanding the difference between a need and a want is really the crux of sorting out your finances. When it comes to needs, there are very few expenses that fall into the category; shelter, clotting, food, and water, also transportation. Of course, every situation is different, and you may have other needs (like child care or internet access for work). However, anything that isn’t a necessity should be cut out of your spending during the freeze.
3. Resist Temptation. The best way to stay the course during your freeze is to steer clear of opportunities to spend money. This might mean that you block websites of your favorite e-tailers, avoid shopping plazas, make all your meals at home, or invite friends and family over instead of going out.
4. Stick to Your Shopping List. Before you leave the house and head out to spend money, write down a shopping list of your needs. Then buy only the items on the list. If you see something you absolutely need that isn’t on your list, put it on next week’s list when you get home. Be vigilant about this process, and you’ll never overspend on groceries and toiletries again.
5. Put Away Your Credit and Debit Cards. Put your credit and debit cards in a safe place that’s hard to get to, such as a safe-deposit box at the bank. The farther away your credit and debit cards are from you, the better. You’ll also need to delete any saved card information online so you can’t buy anything without having the card in front of you. Then, during your freeze period, pay for all of your day-to-day purchases with cash and pay your bills with checks.

 

 

Image by Nacho Squarez on pexels.com

Single Mom Traveling with Baby : Cirebon

On New Year 2018 me, Oru and my Mom had traveled to Cirebon. Nope, is not because a New Year Eve and we just want to celebrate start a big day on first year date, but because we want to see my Dad who opening new restaurant in Cirebon.

Cirebon (formerly referred to as Cheribon in English) is a port city on the north coast of the Indonesian island of Java. It is located in the province of West Java near the provincial border with Central Java, approximately 297 km east of Jakarta, at 6°43′S 108°34′E. The administrative area of Cirebon is very small in extent, however, its dense suburbs sprawl into the surrounding regency; the official metropolitan area encompasses this regency as well as the city, and covers an area of 1,021.88 km², with a 2010 Census population of 2,366,340 (Wikipedia).

We traveled to Cirebon easily going by train, just booking via Traveloka or Tiket.com (Indonesia Travel Commerce) and you can set the date when you go to Cirebon.

For Hotel, I am note use Agoda or Tripadvisor, because My Dad already knew Cirebon really well, he got new dorm with cheap and best services. The dorm actually not name but you can find easily because syariah dorm located on Remaja Street (Gang Remaja) and nearby the famous Nasi Jamblang Ibu Nur (My God…! Just start to remember about Ibu Nur my mouth start to drool. Yummy!).

Ahaha…nothing help ya. But this is the dorm map:

Two Days Traveling in Cirebon

My traveled schedule to Cirebon actually not well prepared, were we just focus on My Dad New Restaurant Touring but not for sightseeing. But it was fun. I wanna go to Cirebon again and meet my lovely friend and her handsome baby, Arinces.

Tips for you who have travel with kids. Please bring jar foods to make your babies easy to eat and make you not worries the taste they don’t like or not, easy sist they really love it and eat a lot of your jar foods.

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Day 1

Sunyaragi Cave

The best things you must visit while in Cirebon guess this caves. Because the design super spectacular and also a lot of mystique things just happened in here. To go to Sunyarangi Cave actually is easy if you have Go-jek or Grab application, so you can order private motorcycle or car and they love to drive you to this place.

But, if you go there, please make sure that you bring an umbrella or wearing your hat, because the weather on this area super hot.

Btw, if you go here with your babies, please make sure that you not bring a stroller and also wearing your comfortable shoes.

Batik Trusmi

Is shopping place. You can find anything you want in Batik Trusmi. Start from Batik until a souvenir to bring back home for the family. Like one stop solution place in Cirebon, so you can found anything without worry with your pocket, because they sell from cheap to expensive on.

If you feeling hungry in here they have Trusmi Cafe. With a special interior design made by Batik, this cafe allow you to spends a day with delicious food and ambient. Match with your journey day with delicious foods.

This is a view for Batik Trusmi Cafe, recommended but guess if you plan to eat here ask the waiters to make your foods hot, because I don’t like warm soup.

Batik Trusmi located at: Jalan Raya Trusmi Kulon No. 148, Weru Lor, Weru. Phone Number: 0815-6469-0003.

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Day 2

Lynn’s Coffee

One of coolest cafe in Cirebon, Lynne’s Coffee is loveable place to have a great time with your family and friends for chat and eat delicious pizza (really, a pizza here super super delicious and also affordable).

Look at on Oru face…

He is so happy when visiting this restaurant and also eat a lot of delicious pizza here, #LOL.

Address: Jalan Tentara Pelajar No.58, Kejaksan, Pekiringan, Kesambi, Kota Cirebon, Jawa Barat 45118. Hours: Closes soon: 11PM ⋅ Opens 11AM Thu. Phone: 0812-2388-8998

Nana Riverside, Cirebon

 Really homy restaurant and one of the best restaurant in Cirebon (I guess). Made by my father as a restaurant management restaurant, Nana Riverside becoming the most recommended place to eat in Cirebon by Tripadvisor.

When I visiting this cafe and restaurant, amaze. Because I really love vintage architecture and think that this place have amazing interior with old Dutch touch.

Beside the architecture, interior inside this place also great so you can have great selfie with your friends and family like Royal Family.

By the way, the foods in this restaurant totally affordable. I am totally eat a lot here, because so delicious and also not so expensive than the price in Jakarta. And you don’t have to worry about the menu because they have world menu list you can order easily. Oooh I am in heaven.

My favorite one is the menu from their sister restaurant Nana Suki, Japanese Foods.

Address: Jl. Kalibaru Utara, Kejaksan, Kota Cirebon, Jawa Barat 45123. Hours: Closed ⋅ Opens 11AM. Phone: (0231) 202700.

Keraton Kasepuhan

The Kraton Kasepuhan is the oldest Kraton (sultan’s palace) in the Indonesian city of Cirebon. It is the residence of the Sultan of Kasepuhan. It was built in 1447 and its architecture and interior are a blend of Sundanese, Javanese, Islamic, Chinese and Dutch styles.

While the sultan still lives in the palace, several main sections are open to the public. Inside is a pavilion with white-washed walls dotted with blue-and-white Delft tiles, a marble floor and ceiling hung with French chandeliers. The legacy of Majapahit is preserved in its small pendopo on soft carved brick bases. The carvings on the pendopo columns are 1940s copy of the ancient originals. An innovation is the use of brackets branching out from the columns.

The main building features unusually tall pyramidal column bases. The ornament on the double braces of this building’s pendopo tumpang sari ceiling are picked out by gilt. Another unusual feature in the eclectic complex is plaster and masonry columns feature a decoration that resembles reeding. Like other old sites around Cirebon, ceramics in walls are common here, although their use in the Kraton is more restrained.

The palace also has a somewhat neglected small museum with a restricted display of wayang, kris, cannon, furniture, Portuguese armour, and ancient royal clothes. In a separate nearby building the very elaborate Kereta Singabarong, a 17th-century gilded coach, may be seen along with a modern duplicate carriage used on official occasions.

Address: Jalan Kasepuhan No.43, Kesepuhan, Lemahwungkuk, Kesepuhan, Lemahwungkuk, Kota Cirebon, Jawa Barat 45114. Hours: Closed ⋅ Opens 8AM Thu. Province: West Java. Phone: (0231) 225511.

 

Image taken from my phone and also my instagram page @unamaruna

 

 

Me and Ear Grommet

I am sorry for my late update about my life lately. Due to my medical reasons I don’t have any mood to update my blog and tell you about my stories. But now because I have so much time during my pray on Ramadan month, I make a time to write this story.

Three weeks a go I just finished my operation in RSPI (Rumah Sakit Pondok Indah), Jakarta to fixed my hearing. As you know that two months ago I started can’t hear clearly, because my adenoid just get suck! But luckily that Doctor Zainal Adhim from RSPI help me to fix the problems.

To help me can hear clearly, he observe my sicks. He found that my adenoid size not in normal size, a lot of fluid from my ears can’t go out like ordinary people have. This fluid make my ears inundated and the last examination my ears lost her hearing ability minus two hundred decibel. Is totally sucks you know. I am sorry to said that word, but trust me you can’t think easily when your tonsils get hurt. Because your throat is a channel for everything in your body, it will make a huge disaster when you take an easily. Like my case, my adenoid swollen since university student eight years ago make this year my sick getting worse and they make a disaster in my body. The sign, my ears can’t barely hear. Then another reason I get operation is because I had accident seven years ago whose make my nostrils narrowed.

After a short operation (only one and half hour and thirty minutes recovery) the doctor put out liquid from my ears. Then, to make I can hear again he put grommet in my ears canal and clean up nostrils channel to make me easy breath.

Grommet

Grommets, also called tympanostomy or ventilation tubes, are tiny plastic tubes which are inserted into a small slit in ears drum in a short operation.

Grommets maintain normal middle ear pressure by allowing air into the space on the other side of the ear drum, from the outside. This reduces the risk of fluid building up in that space. If an ear infection does occur, the resultant pus flows out through the grommet, limiting the pain. If you develops an ear infection with grommets in place, your doctor can use topical treatments (such as prescribed ear drops which are put directly into the ear) rather then oral antibiotics. Studies have shown that topical treatments are more effective than oral antibiotics in treating discharging ears.

Grommets are a temporary measure and will ‘buy time’ until hopefully your Eustachian tubes grow to a sufficient size to work naturally. The Eustachian tubes connect the space behind the eardrum (middle ear) of each ear to the back of the nose.

Most grommets usually stay in place for about 6 to 18 months and come out by themselves.

Alhamdulillah…after I get my operation my body getting better and strong than before.

A weeks after my short operation, me and Oru go to Banjarmasin to enjoying the weekends. For my latest traveling tips, will share my day with Oru broad the boat to had shopping at floating market. #Awesome!

Image taken from pexels.com and a shots from my Instagram page @unamaruna.

Start to Run..!

I kind of happy this pass of three days, because finally….I can run!

It start good right?!

Maybe my 0.64KM can’t equated with 10K or 100K runners, but is about to start and my thought that if you have a good shoes and also mix with perfect shocks the run about to happens. Yes! Running is fun. Kind of like it!

 

I Can’t Hear…

Almost two weeks I am not writing on this blog. Not because I am to lazy, but because I am too sick to write down and my mood just go down once again.

For three weeks I can’t hear good like normal people. Just have intents treatment with the doctor and hopefully everything going well soon before I catch the flight to Banjarmasin end this month.

Why I can hear?

The doctor said that my Adenoid been swollen. Does it hurt? No actually. But because my Adenoid bigger than normal people, this things make me can’t hear normal.

What is Adenoid?

The adenoid, also known as a pharyngeal tonsil or nasopharyngeal tonsil, is the superior-most of the tonsils. It is a mass of lymphatic tissue situated posterior to the nasal cavity, in the roof of the nasopharynx, where the nose blends into the throat. Normally, in children, it forms a soft mound in the roof and posterior wall of the nasopharynx, just above and behind the uvula. (wikipedia).

How do I feel?

Empty. I can barely hear, like you on the plane and you can’t hear for the moment. I wish could healthy soon.

What my doctor recommendation?

Right now we still find out is that my adenoid swollen because a virus, or something wrong with my body. Hopefully with a treatment everything will be health soon. I can hear and everyone happy because I can work and hear better.

But, if for this two weeks the medicine not work, the doctor recommendation for operation. I still figure out with other doctor. Hopefully is going well. I need my hear back. I need work to save a lot of money for Oru school.

BTW, I just watch Grey Anatomy, this drama totally insane, Netflix you just let me addicted to your programs, love you dude! And just find out that Indonesia doctor not like in Grey drama, everything slow and a lot of protocol to have done, waste my money!

Like this case, I just need go to three different doctor and they not doing some Hero action like Grey do.

Wish me luck!

Tips for Single Mom : Basic Problem Solving

We all have to make decisions. Because you face problems every day that need solving. The problems may vary. Maybe you need to pass the test to be a single, or decide where to live, or figure out how to improve your life balance for your babies.

Whether the issue is big or small, as a single mom you need to set goals for ourselves, face challenges, and strive to overcome them. There’s a fundamental approach to solving these real-life problems, especially where you are a single mom, one that can consistently lead you to effective and satisfying solutions. And chances are, no one has ever bothered to show you how.

On this blog, I want to write about to show everyone a simple way to deal with the problems you have to face in everyday lives. But I wasn’t just trying to communicate a skill set. Because, being a problem solver isn’t just an ability; it’s a whole mind-set, one that drives people to bring out the best in themselves and to shape the world in a positive way.

Rather than accepting the status quo that you are single mom, true champion is mom who can be a problem solvers are constantly trying to proactively shape their environment. Imagine how different your world would be if you as a leaders and also operation team lacked on attitude? Who will taking care of your babies if you not the doers?

I hope my blog will help you inspire both children and adults to develop this proactive mindset by first tackling the problems in your own lives. Once you learn this simple way to solve the personal challenges you face everyday, you just might see that your bigger dreams and accomplishments are also within your reach.

Problem Solving Design Plan

From Ken Watanabe book about 101 Problem Solving; If you start collecting and analyzing data without first clarifying the question you are trying to answer, you’re probably doing yourself more harm than good. You’ll end up drowning in a flood of information and realize only later that most of that research was a waste of time.

To avoid this problem, you should develop a problem solving design plan before you start chasing after information. In the design plan, you clarify the issues you are trying to solve, state your current hypotheses and rationale, and list the analyses; actions; and information required to prove or disprove those hypotheses. Developing this plan before your start researching will drastically increase your problem solving productivity.

Issue	Hypothesis	Rationale	Analysis / Activites	Information Source
How I know the best school for my son?	Because Oru love a to calculate and earn money, he have to study in Harvard Business Scholl whe he grow up.	Oru loves numbers.	Test Oru to study more in economic, mathematics and also finance.	Interview

You can download the template from here: https://goo.gl/RXJZKL

The New Man

Today my college said this words and make me realize the point from his words.

You will move on until you found a new one.

When you had a bad things happened in your love life, make you can’t accepting reality that your close one just gone and now you are alone.

Regarding from the article who taken from MSU’s Jed Magen, associate professor of psychiatry, wrote this piece for The Conversation, an independent collaboration between editors and academics that provides informed news analysis and commentary to the general public, has been said that loneliness is bad for your health.

Lonely people are stressed much of the time. Another hormone named oxytocin seems to play a role in social isolation. In popular media, oxytocin is often referred to as the “love hormone.” This is an overstatement, but oxytocin is involved in relationships and pair bonding. For example, after birth, high oxytocin levels are associated with better mother-infant bonding.

Oxytocin also seems to be linked to reduced stress. For instance, it’s associated with decreases in levels of norepinephrine, the “fight or flight” hormone, as well as decreases in blood pressure and heart rate, much the opposite of chronic cortisol. Oxytocin also seems to decrease activity in the amygdala, a part of the brain that activates whenever there’s a perceived threat.

From that point before I wrote about my thought about moving forward and have a new dream for my future, I am kind of loneliness. Sad. Miserable. Hate. Always blame of myself. Feel guilty. Useless. and another negative feeling around inside my head. Yeah I know that being a single mom is not easy for me, all I am thinking just negative and negative and negative feeling inside on me. Tired and then got sick easily. But until two week back end before I started this blog I realize that I am not alone and everyone loving me.

I still have a friends. A lot of friends. A thousands of friends. They always supporting me even I was doing a bad things in my life, once. They always cheering me when I am down and kind of have difficulty in hard time. And yesterday, my friend also remind me that I am not alone and I already have my new man.

Yes! I already have my new man. He is my precious one! My son!

When I was still a single and before married, I wondered what is a true love shape is. Until I got him and realize that a true love is everywhere! They are everywhere and already in front of your eyes. Love is not coming only from your lover, love coming around your life and they are visible too.

My new man maybe can’t be equated same as my ex husband, but thanks because of my son now I kind of forget being lonely and my life full of love now. Maybe for a while I am not ready to have a new one, because I still worry about my self not enough for another man. But, you know because of my son I feel complete.

Teach self-denial and make its practice pleasure and you can create for the world a destiny more sublime that ever issued from the brain of the wildest dreamer – Sir Walter Scott.

I kind of denial of the true life is, where I need a new man, new love life and somebody will be your friend until you old and die, but now I pretend that I don’t need one. Regarding to this matter be honest I am so scared to death! Seems that quote who been taken from forbes created by Sir Walter Scott remind me that is ok being denial for this situations, you are not doing something wrong.

Just because you don’t need a real man for now is doesn’t means that you losing your hope of love. Maybe Allah now just give a good trial for your life in the future. Don’t be scared again, Allah always being kind because he just give you a time to have a time more closely to your son. He need you now rather than your new lovelife.

Now you can spends your time to hang out with him for more. Is about a time. Time you will get recovered and time you move on with the new one. Just remind to yourself that, don’t loosing your hope.

Maybe before my ex husband gone and have a new lovelife with his mistress while I got pregnant of Oru, I had pray that he comeback when Oru born and we be a family again. Yes for the record he been back, but he back because he need my money and I am being fooled again by him and another broken heart coming into my life once again. Hurts. But life must go on. I deserve to have happy, Oru too. So what should I do? Just keep moving forward and doing something big for myself and people who love me. Oru will have study in Harvard Business School when he grow up, so I should working more hard to earn money for him, no need to think about my ex husband (we don’t need him!) or new man (for now).

Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle – Abraham Lincoln.

Tips for Single Mom : 5 Steps for Creating a Budget You Can Stick To

Yesterday I was wrote about “How to Save Money as A Single Parent” and now I kind of like it to share my financial tips for single parent. Is because I want to remind myself more than others, but if it can help others moving forward from my blog, it would be a delightful to know it.

Developing a budget can do more than track your spending and savings. This article coming from a book made by Michele Cagan, CPA and Elisabeth Lariviere, were it can also help you work toward your financial goals. The following steps will show you how to build a budget that works for your life, so you don’t have to worry about falling short of your plans. And for a single parent this steps could help you to do financial plan for your babies future.

1. Start with your goals

Write down your financial goals. Be sure to include actual dollar amounts and time frames to make tracking possible. For example, measurable goals would be “Have a $1,000 emergency fund by April 1” and “Pay off $5,000 credit card debt in eighteen months.” Then divide the dollar amount by the number of months to figure out your monthly goals.

2. Know your income

Before you can establish a budget, you have to know exactly how much money you have coming in every month from your employer and other sources. Make sure to include only the money you actually receive (for example, the exact amount of your paycheck rather than your gross pay).

3. Total your monthly expenses

You’ll need to know how much money you’re spending every month. When figuring out your total monthly expenses, be sure to include groceries, rent or mortgages, all debt payments (including car loans, student loans, and credit cards), cell phone service, cable and entertainment. Remember to include occasional expenses, like doctor visits and car insurance. Look through bank and credit card statements to get a realistic picture of your spending.

4. Create a realistic budget

To make your fist stab at a budget, add your monthly expenses from Step 3 to the monthly goals you calculated in Step 1, then subtract that total from your monthly income. If the balance is positive, you’ve created a budget that is compatible with your current lifestyle. If the balance is negative, take another look at your goals, expenses and income.

5. Revisit your goals and expenses

If the first draft of your budget came out negative, rework the numbers and try again. Think about what areas you may be able to alter in order to create a budget that’s manageable and still fits your needs. For example, you can revisit your expenses, and decide which are priority items that need to stay in your budget and which you can do without. You can consider changing the amount of time or money needed to meet your goals. Or you can figure out a way to increase your income. Any one of those changes could make your budget come together.